What the...?

I went to our monthly high school get-together on Saturday night. Pictures were taken, food was eaten, drinks were imbibed. Fun was had by all. I look at the pictures people have posted from get-togethers past and I compare them to this get-together. My first thought, "What the...?"

A year ago I was 20lbs lighter and looked 10yrs younger. I was exercising six days a week, eating healthy food. Now I've reverted into a lazy, tired blob who barely has the energy to take a shower in the morning. My excuses? "My ankle is hurt; I had a medical incident that threw me off; I don't feel like it." Damn, I just gave myself away, the truth is I just haven't felt like it.

I need to get over it. I have a 4yr old and a 6yr old with special needs. I not only want, but I need to be there for them. I want to be there for the ups, the downs, the all arounds. My mother lost her father when she was 8yrs old and it is one of the defining incidents of her life. My grandfather was only 45 and he died from a massive coronary. I don't want Spencer or Xander to grow-up without me. I don't want Andy to have to be a father AND a mother.

This is my promise to my boys and myself, I will take better care of myself. I will not leave you without a mother or wife because of something within my power. Alright, it's time to stop bitching about the way I feel and look. It's time to get off my ass and get to work.